Christmas 2016 Out of Office Message:

Andrew Treloar, To his Email Correspondent (with apologies to Andrew Marvell and his Coy Mistress)

Had I but disk enough, and time,
This email, Colleague, were no crime
I would sit down and think which way
To read and file your mail away.
Thou at your own computer's side
Shouldst missives write: I by the tide
Of Yarra might complain. I would
Reply-All if the text seemed good,
And you could, if you please, recuse
Some quoted text at variance with your views.
Our correspondence trail should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow;
An hundred bytes should go to raise
A range of topics, hone each phrase;
140 to begin a meme,
But twice a thousand for the theme;
A thread at least for every group,
We need to keep all in the loop!
For, Colleague, you deserve my thought
And you should not have mailed for naught
But at my back I always hear
The beckoning holidays draw near;
And yonder all before me lies
Long days of sun and sand (and flies!)
I will not read your emails then
Your tweets will lie beyond my ken
My laptop shutdown on my desk
Will serve to guard my summer rest.
Your workday world continues on,
While I am gardening in the sun
For six full weeks my mind’s elsewhere
With books to read, food to prepare,
And most of all, a well to fill
With sleep replenished, deep and still.
In February I’ll return
Restart my laptop, left forlorn.
I’ll read your emails then, I swear
With watchful eye and loving care.
So for now put your anger by
That I do not straightway reply;
Instead think on your last respite
From meetings, work and such delights
And so be glad that I in time
Returned will be, with mood sublime.
For, though we cannot rest always
For now, it's time to leave and laze.